If you read my last post, you know I’m online dating. Here’s the thing with online dating:
1. You have a user name which is not your real name so things stay anonymous until you choose to share your name with someone.
2. You keep things general and don’t reveal specific things about yourself so that people can’t google you and know who you are.
3. Basically, they see your picture and the general questions that the online site has asked you to fill in.
Keeping that in mind, I have googled my real first name with my profession in many different ways, just to be sure that if some guy was clever, and I gave him my first name he wouldn’t be able to find me. So, when I received the following message from a guy whose pictures I did NOT recognize, I couldn’t decide if he was the creepiest stalker on the planet, or someone who actually knows me peripherally, and chose not to mention that as a “ps” (I’m hoping it’s the later). Here’s the message I received :
(quote) Fear of Feathers was very entertaining and well written. I could totally see myself with a woman like the character Lulu. Lulu is so authentic compared to the closed minded stuck-up Tricia character desperately trying to make up for her low self esteem. You have to feel sorry for Tricia, and if that was the desired effect, I’d say Well Done! Were those characters based on anyone in real life?
Back to youtube for more advice on getting back into the entertainment biz. Fun videos!
Hmmmmm…. first date? Streaking through a senior living facility does sound fun! 🙂 (end quote)
Now, in case you know nothing about me, Fear of Feathers is a movie I wrote. I’m pretty sure I have it on my FB page, so he could be a FB friend of mine… he probably should have mentioned that.
Then he mentions my YouTube videos. So he found those too, without me sharing my name, so clearly he looked at my pictures, knew who I was and Googled me. He said “getting back in the entertainment Biz,” so for all I know he was one of my clients in FL. I coach people by phone, so I have no idea what they look like. Or someone on my newsletter list.
Finally, while the first date suggestion (I ask them for that) may seem creepy to you,
it’s actually from a chapter in my fiction book (and mentioned on the back cover, so he obviously saw it on Amazon.
In best case scenario, this is a guy, who was being clever, trying to get my attention by showing that not only did he recognize me, but he really took the time to find out about me and was complimentary about my work. He did have a happy faced emoticon and said my videos were fun.
Worst case scenario he’s a stone-cold stalker… which I highly doubt, but COME ON guys, you are living in the same world I am. Can’t you see how this would come across SUPER CREEPY? I don’t know you, you haven’t given me a clue as to how you know me, and I’m supposed to feel comfortable with this?
I’m hoping he is a Facebook friend and he will see this and get a chuckle out of it and  he can say “Hi” for real, and one day we’ll look back on this and laugh. But if not…
What do you think I should do? Comments are GREATLY appreciated!
Hmmmm….I would say it could tip the scales towards a little creepy. Since online “rules” are pretty known, he should have known this might cause some skepticism. It would have been nice if he would have ended with how he made the connection to you.
Give him the benefit of the doubt and a little credit for doing his homework.Then see where it goes. I’m in online dating hell too.
He really didn’t give off a creepy vibe. So, I probably will give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s interesting to hear the guys’ perspectives though, as they think like you and the girls are like… creepy. I appreciate the advice!
It just all sounds like wayyyyy too much cleverness and work to me. But what do I know about the dating scene?? 🙂
I’m on the fence – maybe a bit creepy but also the fact that he has done his homework and is trying hard to impress! I hope it turns out that he’s not creepy!
Run away. Fast.
No honor, no empathy and not being straight forward.
Maybe a double date? Just don’t go to a hockey game.
If you use one of those online photo apps doesn’t your image
and your name stay attached whenever someone sees only your
photo somewhere?
I’m definitely going with creepy. If he wanted to show how clever he was in finding you and all of your information he should have taken the ten seconds to type something identifying how he knew this much about you or if there was any connection.
A little too clever for his own good I think. What would he have lost to have mentioned the connection (assuming there is one)?
Woah! That is a little creepy … stalker tendencies before even the first date?! Clever doesn’t always come off like people want it to, especially when it is by email or online when you don’t get the benefit of their tone of voice or body language.
Turns out he’s clever in his creepiness. I gave him the benefit of the doubt to see how he knew me, and he didn’t know me. He used some techie-link (which I won’t give out) to get information on me. I couldn’t even get the link to work because I am the “Penny” to AdBizBabe’s “Sheldon” and she gave me the down-lo on it, and basically, it stalkerish. She said BLOCK HIM IMMEDIATELY!!!